Listen up, American men. We need to have a conversation.

I want to talk about what appears to be a historic gender gap in this year's U.S. presidential election. 

If polling is correct, men will support Donald Trump over Kamala Harris by almost twenty points. 

This both disappoints and infuriates me. 

But first, let me say to the men supporting Trump that I understand some of your reasons. 

You have genuine issues with how today's society sometimes treats you. Heck, I've experienced some of that discrimination myself. 

It happened a few years ago while I was having an online chat with a young lesbian about LGBTQ issues and how my generation achieved many of our goals in the 80s, 90s, and aughts. 

Her response to my sharing what my involvement had been and how it might be of help today? 

"Oh great, another old gay white man who thinks he saved the world. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say, so shut up already."

I was shocked. I wasn't lecturing her. I didn't think I had all the answers. I was listening to her point of view. 

And she utterly dismissed me. After the shock faded, I became furious. 

Fortunately, I had plenty of experience in dealing with hateful things said by bigoted people. 

That's because being gay back in the 80s, 90s' and aughts, I had to listen to all kinds of horrible things said about LGBTQ folks. 

So, I get why some men today are angry at being told they are responsible for all the world's problems. Being told that if you don't agree 100% with everything the left deems to be "correct," then you are sexist and racist and homophobic and transphobic. 

But you know what I did when I was confronted by all of the LGBTQ bigotry back in the 80s, 90s, and aughts? 

I worked my butt off to change things. 

I volunteered at the Northwest AIDS Foundation to make up for what the federal government and the rest of society wouldn't do to save the lives of gay and bisexual men. 

I worked on political initiatives to convince voters to give us our rights. 

I wrote letters to the editor and editorials and donated money and had hundreds of conversations with straight people to explain why I deserved to be treated with dignity. 

You know what I didn't do?

I didn't make myself feel better by throwing my support to someone who brags about sexually assaulting women. I didn't cheer on a man who called John McCain a loser for getting captured in Vietnam, calls women fat pigs, praises dictators like Vladimir Putin, or encourages violent protestors to storm the U.S. capitol. 

I didn't call people who disagreed with me the "enemy within" and vow retribution on them or promise to let the police have a day where they could do whatever they wanted without punishment.

The list goes on and on. 

Let me say something else to all the men feeling mistreated by the current culture:

Welcome to the club. 

I'm not at all excusing the bigotry, snideness, and discrimination being directed your way. I hated it when people on the left started using the term "Karen" or saying, "Yes, all men."

Both things are incredibly offensive.

But that kind of stuff is nothing new. Women and racial and sexual minorities have all been treated horribly by society at times.

And you know what those women and racial minorities did?

They formed NOW and the NAACP and Planned Parenthood and marched and worked their butts off to convince people to treat them better. 

Perhaps some of you supporting Trump are also doing those things. 

But most of you aren't. Instead, you're making yourself feel better by casting a vote for a man whose own past military and administration officials call dangerous, fascist, and unfit for office. 

Maybe by supporting Trump you believe you're being a "man."

And I suppose you are. 

But the question is: what kind of man are you being? 

Are you the kind of man who puts others first and cares for people who are more vulnerable than you? 

Because if you vote Republican, you are not the kind of man who cares for the women in your life. Whether you believe it or not, your wives, daughters, granddaughters, friends, and coworkers are under genuine threat in 2024. 

Women are dying because they've been stripped of their reproductive rights. They are putting up with indignities and threats to their privacy and well-being that men would never ever tolerate. 

So, please, before you vote, consider what kind of man you are. 

Because I truly want to believe that Donald Trump doesn't really represent the majority of American men.