I’ve realized that when I am quite emotionally regulated and my personal life has zero to very little volatility, I can be far more liberal with my screen + digital usage, because I have a way easier time parsing information and discerning what is worth my attention / not getting sucked into things.

But when I am already emotionally run down from some other thing going on in my life, I need to be WAY more careful with screens; I am much more vulnerable and susceptible to their ‘darker’ side and their tendency to pull us away from the materials of our own life, and convince us there is something more important for us to ‘discover’ on them.

I’ve found that the best ways to ‘cope’ with emotional dysregulation in general has almost nothing to do with screens, and everything to do with activities, rituals, habits, projects, crafts, and modalities that slow you down, put you in your body, and relax your mind.

This is often, for me, things like: baking, knitting, walking, reading, writing (by hand), yoga, meditation, sauna, exercise, etc.

It is absolutely not scrolling on a screen.

This might seem obvious or like something you have heard before (you likely have heard it *many* times, just as I have), but I have *really* been seeing it clearly lately:

Making things with our hands, having practices and habits that return us to the pace of reality and reconnect us to our bodies, are how we self-regulate when we are overwhelmed. They slow us down and help us tune in. And screens can easily overwhelm us and distract us, especially when we are already slightly overwhelmed and seeking to be distracted from that overwhelm.

If what you need is ‘down-regulation’ instead of being wound up and up and up like the screens will reliably do if you are not consciously using them and telling them what you want (I will write about how to do this another time, follow along if you want to read about how to teach your screens to be loyal servants *to you* instead of vice versa), I highly recommend picking just ONE (one!!!!) screen-less activity you will actually enjoy to help you embrace patience and delayed gratification, and to remember how powerful your hands and body are.

You can make things!

You can literally shape the raw materials of reality into something beautiful. Use this ability! You will be awed by it. It will give you the comfort and satisfaction you are seeking when you pick up a screen (but will not find there no matter how much time you spend on it.) Our ability to create, and press up against reality and shift it into something new, is one of our superpowers. Use it. Enjoy it! Make something that will delight you or someone you love!