The other day I was at a medical appt and the woman helping me wasn’t someone I’d met before. We were having a typical, politely distanced conversation like you do in these kind of appointments, but then she asked me what I do and I told her I help develop curriculum on genocides. (I always get a little uncomfortable when I say that, because I’m not sure what I’ll get back.) She told me that sounds like difficult work, and asked which ones. I said I was currently helping with curriculum on the Armenian genocide, still a little hesitant, and she said, oh, my country has a lot of Armenians.

I’d noticed an accent but she had on a mask and I’ve learned to be careful with assuming I can place an accent, so I asked her which country and she answered, Iran, “but my family left over 40 years ago.” I assumed she’d fled the Islamic Republic but I think she was as hesitant as me — she only said “left,” not “had to leave” — so I told her I support the Iranian people, and that I’ve learned a lot about the Islamic Republic. She said, I haven’t met many Americans who understand the difference, so I told her my husband is Israeli (which would explain it for her), took a breath, and waited to see which way this was going to go.

The whole conversation cracked wide open.

She told me she and her friends support Israel and the Jewish people and that when Israel struck the Islamic Republic (back in June) it was hard, but good. She told me Iranians know the threat Israel faces because they are victims of the same regime, and she can’t believe it when she sees people here supporting Hezbollah and Hamas and the Houthis, how wrong it is to think those proxies are “freedom fighters.” She told me about her family — all her siblings ended up in different countries because “you take asylum where you get it.” And that her father stayed to fight but something told me not to ask too much about that — I got the sense he didn’t make it out. She told me she doesn’t make posts and keeps a low profile because she knows the IRGC tracks Iranians and she tells her friends to be careful. (Because she said this, I’ve been vague about where I spoke with her and what her position is.)

Some of the strongest supporters of Israel are Iranians because they know, and when we gave each other a genuine hug when I left, I thought about how I’m so used to hearing the usual uneducated propaganda about Israel, how exhausting and heart-breaking it is, but talking with her, this unexpected turn of a conversation on a day I was especially down, gave me some hope. Which made me want to share this video of other Iranian voices: