Part 3

I’m writing this from Minnesota.

A lot of people keep asking, “What can we do from far away?”

The short answer is COMMUNITY.

Community gets built on random Tuesdays, in parking lots, in church basements, at the bus stop, in the checkout lines, and during Girl Scout cookie sales.

The “big heroic things” everyone notices… are made possible by a thousand small relationships that already existed.

Here’s my guide on “how to love like a Minnesotan”

• Host a neighbor dinner. Pick a date. Make it simple. Soup + bread. Tell people, “Bring a bowl.” Learn names. Learn pets’ names. Ask, “If you needed help fast, who would you call?” Build the phone tree before you need it.

• Become a regular somewhere. Grocery store. Coffee shop. Hardware store. Library. Look people in the eye, and call them by first name, ask them about their grandkids and listen to the answers.

• Be “that” parent. Sit in the stands of the dance studio, karate dojo, hockey rink and force the other parents to talk to you. Volunteer to organize the fundraisers and the ticket-sales. Pay attention to the kids whose parents don’t show up, and check in on them. Notice the parents that seem not-okay, and network with others to help.

• Volunteer. Sign up for the bake-sale and the food shelf, your HOAs, the libraries, the community centers. By joining and organization, you’re joining a web, a mycelial network of mutual support.

• Stop for the person on the side of the road. Pull over. Ask what they need. Sit with them until help arrives. Being witnessed calms the nervous system. It reminds people they’re still human. I spent 10 years road-tripping for a living with a not-entirely reliable car. I’ve broken down in multiple states, and MN is the only state where people pull over to help within minutes of me pulling over.

• Practice your breath when everything is fine. Three slow breaths, a few times a day. Train your body to return to center. That way, when something wild happens, your breath shows up like muscle memory. This is so fucking important. BREATHE DAMNIT!

• Befriend your Black and Brown and LGBTQ neighbors with your whole heart. Be curious about who they are as human beings, and what they have to teach you about life. Go to their restaurants, and keep going back. Become regulars at their places of business. Let the relationship be real, mutual, and ongoing. Community becomes sturdy when everyone belongs.

• Listen to your elders like they’re a living library. Elders carry maps, and communities with maps move differently. Ask for stories, and listen even if you’ve heard them a dozen times because it takes a dozen times to really embody the lessons. Write down what they say. They’ve been through it all, and their wisdom comes in the quiet little spaces between their stories.

• Sing. The absolute best peaceful protests are the ones with songs. You can change the vibration and energy of any place with the power of song, just ask any minister or pastor. It’s really hard to argue with and attack and be mean to a person who is singing a gentle song.

• Practice saying NO and meaning it. Kindness with a spine. Boundaries that hold. Figure out a simple 3-5 word statement you can repeat as a boundary with a calm voice and practice saying it so that when you really need it, you know how to hold it. “am I free to go?” “I want a lawyer.” “I’m exercising my right to remain silent.”

• Practice being still (and calm). Nothing will disarm an authoritarian asshole like a stone-cold resting-calm face coupled with a firm neutral statement. Learn how to breathe deep, be stiller than still, and repeat the same neutral calm statement over and over with a smile.

• Learn your rights. Memorize the Bill of Rights like you had to in middle school civics class. Learn the constitution. Learn your rights. Learn the laws. And know what lawyer you would call if you need to.

If you want your town to feel like a place where people show up for each other, and you want to be prepared in case a big-bad-monster comes threatening your peace—

Start building the web.

Become the mycelial underground network amongst the trees communicating to each other, and feeding and nourishing each other across the acres and acres of forest.

Start being the person who knows names.

Start being the person who follows through.

Start being the person who makes it easy for other people to join you.

That’s how we got here.

That’s how we became the people who can’t not be out in the streets with the signs and the hand-warmers and the underground food networks.

I’m gonna stop telling you what to do now, and go back to my stiff-upper-lip ope-you-betcha-ing.

oh, one more thing.

Tell people you love them, make it awkward.

Say it a lot.

Normalize it.

cuz, I fucking love you all for loving Minnesota!

TeriLeigh💜