I had two years of postdocs and a VAP before I had to leave the academy. I think I was on the verge of landing an assistant professorship, but I made a mistake and followed someone else’s dream instead of my own. Once I was out, I was out, and that was it.

But I see now all around me people who left the academy for any number of reasons - pushed out, burned out, snuck out, were dragged out by unrelenting life stuff - and I realize that, even if I had managed to land a professorship, it still would not have been any kind of slam dunk. I might have flamed out for a variety of reasons, many of which would have been beyond my control.

There’s a path, I guess, that we are going to walk and goddamn if we know what it is before we walk it.