Great thoughts and all of your links have lead me to some insightful rabbit holes.

I too am learning how to be more disagreeable. In certain respects, I have always been very disagreeable but I think that I have often dropped the ball on this when it comes to self advocacy - similar to you, I prioritize social cohesion. However, I am learning now that not doing so is cowardly, is a form of self sabotage, and does not end up helping anybody at all.