Thank you for sharing this, I really understand what you mean. I don't know what kind of label could "officially" be applied to me, but I came to understand I might be neurodivergent a couple of years ago. Something I found useful for helping organise my thoughts - particularly negative ones - was to write them down in a journal. Nothing necessarily came of it except that it felt like my head was being emptied, my mental load just became lighter, and ultimately I felt better and less anxious because of it.

I'm now practicing writing about things that make me happy and I enjoy too, again making me feel like I can just get all these blocked thoughts and ideas out of my crammed head in the absence of anyone to tell directly. Writing also seems easier than talking sometimes, you can really take your time and change what you're saying until it sounds right.

Is this what you feel with music too?