I lived in your world until I divorced the maniac 27 years ago. Reading your story brought mine back too. But, time does heal us and make us stronger and wiser. My ex is still around the area and so are my adult boys. His mistress (who became his wife soon after my divorce) died recently at a young age with a “dementia” diagnosis. I’m totally convinced that I would be gone too if I had stayed with him. I still look over my shoulder, something I’ll always do after surviving years of abuse. So happy you got out alive! Here’s to living ❤️