As many of you know, I'm getting a hip arthroscopy surgery in the near future. It's approaching. It is a same day procedure. I'm scared but increasingly feeling so excited for my hip to feel normal again. It's been over a decade of of not knowing why I was getting progressively more limited. I lost a lot of function when a second tear formed last year. Arthritis developed in the last couple years. A cam lesion developed around the femur neck in an attempt to stabilize the unstable growth plate. I remember the initial slip. I remember feeling it gradually inflate. I remember things getting harder and harder. I remember being told it was how I was sitting or how I was walking or the fact that my abductors were weak or even that I'm just hyper sensitive to normal sensation that I'm misinterpreting as pain because I'm crazy.

All of the problems in my hip would have been preventable or at least identified had they listened to my report of the growth plate injury when it happened. I've had a permanent disability placard from this since it happened though the medical record office crossed out that my leg didn't function well and wrote in chronic pain, that old devil that just happens despite a complete lack of injury (except I did have daily injury from this malformation, and was being gaslit). They couldn't tell me then why it hurt. Even though they i imaged it, they just wouldn't predict it - if they were even trying. I'm not convinced they weren't just playing dumb waiting for the clock to run out on my justice.

They never should have put me on medications that affect growth plate closure at that age, without checking that my growth plates were actually closed, then send me to the gym to repetitively load it to somehow prevent bone loss from the hormones. Not if they didn't understand how anything worked well enough to diagnose the joint pain that resulted. And while the fact I was on an unapproved combination of multiple progestins trying to maximize a side effect, it's theoretically possible to have this result from taking progestin only continuous birth control at a sufficiently young age - because it acts like a puberty blocker when given during adolescence, including late adolescence, prior to completion of skeletal maturation.

So while I want women to have autonomy and control over their fertility, the predatory and irresponsible hormone- industrial complex within the medical industry needs to be reigned in. They're not explaining how these drugs work and they're gaslighting women who experience side effects or other complications and this is causing real harm. At least with contraception, you're trying to prevent something that can also cause harm. In my case, they were trying to prevent me from being reminded of my femaleness, which was never the true source of my distress.

I want to also say this is not being coded as related to detransition in any way, and it is also fully covered. So many of the harms of gender affirming care have yet to be measured because the effects never get connected to the cause, unless the person is fortunate enough to keep demanding answers and has a community of people with a similar experience or condition to compare notes with.