Wooowww! Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt every word and completely understand why you had to detach to protect yourself. I feel like death is almost a taboo topic to discuss, but you did it so beautifully. I, too, think about death often, but try to brush it off immediately in fear that my thinking about it may make it come true. But yes, I have pictured loved ones dead so that I am reminded of how precious and fleeting life is. Especially because I already know what its like to lose someone as close and as important as a sibling.