Nick, this made me laugh in that “oh no, he’s absolutely calling himself out” way.

Only you could take a sweet little proverb and turn it into: “cold hands, warm heart… or possibly just a chronic hand-washing gremlin with trust issues.”

The girl with the soft mushy r? The wine? The slap? I swear your life reads like a short film directed by someone who refuses to warn the audience when the scene will turn chaotic.

And that ending — “I’m too lazy to edit the post” — is peak Nick. Just strolling off after dropping a perfectly unhinged confession.

Loved this one. It’s charming, messy, very human — exactly your brand.