First of all, your writing is so good Joy — I’m honestly surprised I hadn’t discovered you before now. You have a way of unpacking emotions in a calm, grounded way that really stays with a person.

And reading your post made me think about my experience. I have had a friend who lived in a constant state of sadness — always posting heavy memes, withdrawing from people, skipping everything social gathering and opportunity to be with people. After a while, being close to them started to feel like carrying something I didn’t fully understand.

It got to a point where even sharing the happy parts of my life felt like I was being insensitive. Almost like joy was something I needed to hide. And then I started noticing the shift in myself too — suddenly I was playing the same dark songs they played, and whenever I couldn’t make them feel better, I’d walk away feeling like I’d failed as a friend.

I do get your point. Some people genuinely don’t realize how deep their sadness goes. And I say that as someone who has had my own season of sadness. Maybe one day I’ll talk about that properly. But even then, I tried to let people know I appreciated their efforts. I tried not to make their kindness feel invisible. Caring shouldn’t feel like drowning. And from the comments under my note and this post, I know that sometimes stepping back isn’t a lack of love it’s just remembering that you’re human too.