Guys, I know the world may seem increasingly fashy and scary, but it turns out that’s not the case at all! You can stop worrying.

Trump and Musk, the administration’s top officials, and all those people on the Right—they keep saying that white people are being systematically replaced in a global conspiracy that (a lot of them insist) is led by Jews, or by a particular class of Jews; that immigrants poison the blood of Western societies; that the evil of fascists and Nazis is vastly exaggerated; that trans terrorists are an existential threat; that women’s suffrage was a mistake; that Leftists and even liberals are an enemy within with whom dialogue is impossible and who must be defeated at any cost if civilization is to continue.

And yeah, that sounds really bad. But what you fail to realize is, while this all may appear very obviously to arise from a fascistic worldview that has captured the Right, it’s actually just a coincidental series of random occurences. Like, you know, if you sit a monkey down at a typewriter, he’ll eventually produce Hamlet, or in this case Mein Kampf. And in this case the monkey is everyone on the Right. Musk and Trump and the DHS social media people who keep including overtly white nationalist themes in their propaganda material—none of them have any idea what any of this stuff means. They just happen to keep saying and posting white nationalist stuff over and over and over again, because they’re all just a bunch of blushing, silly, naive little scamps. It’s all pretty funny and adorable, if you think about it.

Now it might eventually occur to you to reply, “I get what you’re saying, Evan, but at what point does it become the responsibility of, for example, the wealthiest and most powerful people in the world, who head nations and global communications platforms, to appreciate the meaning of their own words and statements, and clarify that the endlessly-repeated white nationalist stuff is actually just a big misunderstanding?” And the answer is: never. It’s not up to them to stop being white nationalists. It’s rather up to you to accept that you have an undiagnosed psychological need to see white nationalists everywhere, you little drama queen, you.

Just check out this thread with George Gooding where he helpfully lays it all out and corrects my embarrassing misunderstanding.