The rhythm of my life:

• Saturday: total crashout, mind-numbing obsessive compulsive clickclickclick scorlll brrrr I am sisyphus this will never end 36 hours awake no sleep die

• Sunday: oh my god what have i done, my body is aching, I am dehydrated, why did I forget to eat? when is the last time I brushed my teeth? I should never do that again

• Monday: wow I feel a lot better today but still not 100%. I will never make that mistake again. I am reformed.

• Tuesday: yup, life is good. Now that I am a reformed person, I am structured, I am healthy, I am disciplined. All I do is work, and work pays off. I am happy.

• Wednesday: it’s time to kick this up a notch. Time to ascend. No more mediocrity. I will go beyond what was previously possible. I will prove everyone wrong.

• Thursday: wow, it worked, I wrote 9,000 words today! I am master of the universe! Nothing can stop me!!!

• Friday: today was a perfect day. I did everything. And yet… I feel a deep sense of emptiness, like no matter how hard I try, nothing will ever matter. It all amounts to nothing, just words on a screen. I need to stop thinking this way. I need a momentary distraction. Just for a few minutes.