Hello, I am Michael and I am a forensic psychiatrist on the west coast. I ran across your graduation photo and comment and left you a comment (among the nearly 500 comments!). That led me to read this post, and I decided to leave a comment here as well.

I support & encourage you sharing this intimate information - which prompted a safe space for others to share their similar stories as well - as it breaks the stigma that medications are for only the “weak” and the “worst.” So many people share the identical situation as you, yet do not seek help out of fear of being labeled, scorned, or probably the worst, “gossiped” about, particularly if they are young and envied. The old expression is relevant here: “Haters gonna hate.” While those that seek “talk therapy” historically faced a similar dilemma, time seems to have changed this opinion significantly, and the way I see it, psychiatric medications serve for many as an additional boost - an “addendum” - for them to get past certain barriers holding you back from the next level of recovery. They often times can be essential in that aspect of treatment. Contrary to what people claim, these medications have few side-effects and are not intended for long-term use in the majority of situations. Each individual can and may react differently, however.

Medication alone, however, is rarely effective in isolation, and the “work” of recovery from depression is accomplished in psychotherapy. This may include processing issues of grief, loss, insecurities, trauma, and so on. In my comment to your graduation photo, I mentioned having learning disabilities (that were never diagnosed until my fellowship as a physician in child & adolescent psychiatry, if you can imagine) and being thought of as “stupid” & unmotivated because I struggled with writing & spelling! I literally needed tutors to make it through medical school, but I made it (with honors!).

In any case, hang in there. From the comments, you seem to be an inspiration to others, and I’m a new subscriber! All the best.