I’m glad to hear you doing so well, Michele! Thank you for being honest, as usual.

Of course you are glad that Gary is no longer suffering. I suspect you’ve been grieving him for a long time, ever since he became so ill.

I wonder if the reason the password “Widow” didn’t feel like you is because you’ve always had your own identity. If you’ve never really defined yourself primarily in relationship to Gary, you may not relate to yourself primarily in relationship to Gary now. Do you think?

You are still Michele just as you have always been. Independent, strong, and in recent years, Gary’s primary caregiver and breadwinner.

I also wonder if it’s a comfort to know that you did everything you could to care well for Gary. You are a good reminder that grief takes many forms.

One last thought, the way you cared for Gary as he was dying, and also for his body after he passed, strikes me as loving and realistic. Do you think that has also helped give you closure and an acceptance of his death?

Your own observations of the difference between the circumstances around your father’s death and Gary’s death also make a lot of sense.

Regardless, I am glad to read that you are doing well. I imagine the grief will come in waves. It’s also interesting to know that you work in a psych hospital. I hope you don’t mind my analysis. Occupational hazard, even though I’m retired.