It was discerned that I had (have?) a calling to the diaconate. The bishop and COM did not move forward with postulancy. But I think the calling was discerned rightly and is still there. I take that to mean I still have a calling from the Spirit to that type of work (translating the needs of the world to the church), even if I never get ordained. Calling is about where your heart is aflame with the Spirit, not about a position. At least that's how I see it.