Self-pity is the worst emotion -- it simultaneously kills productivity and joy. Blame whomever you want for your problems. But there is a 5-minute statute of limitations. So even if you're right and it is the rare case that you actually are a victim, even then the only question that matters is "what now?" Rumination and grievances are both terrible so ruminating on grievances is almost a lab born cocktail for misery. Keep a victor mentality. Whatever imperfection of society/parents/patriarchy/climate: grant them at most 5 minutes of petulance then overcome and win anyway.