I'll take the other side of this trade.

My sympathies tend more towards Tony. He pulled some shitty stunts but so did Brooke Astor.

There was one telling sentence that mentioned she only saw him as her son, never as his own man. The implication is she was hugely narcissistic and more than likely, at least in his eyes, a sociopath. Disregard all the philanthropy as none of that largesse was ever directed to her son.

Near as I can tell from the article, she gave him nothing ( not just money) and so he owed her nothing. I'd describe them both as sociopaths. Tony in his own way was more honest about it. Few would see it this way, but few have had a mother who despised them as Brooke Astor so clearly did.