Omgg this reminded me of something of this video I watched, she was talking about how you can be going through one of the worst periods of your life but sometimes you can still find joy in some moments and that is "what it means to be alive" but there are moments where you feel like life is merely just breezed past you, like you are just existing and not really living. I think it happens alot to most of us but I think it's a phase, sometimes it takes longer to get out of it but you will get out of it for sure