Regan puts into words what most of us instinctively know, even if some of us feel the need to shun our existence as social creatures endlessly. A few women around the dinner table once ganged up on me when I said “No one dresses for themselves”. Then I sat there and listened to 20 minutes of Harris-level gibberish that left me even more convinced I was right. Perhaps it’s interesting to ask why people feel the corrrect equilibrium, especially in female only groups, is first order pretense rather than acknowledgement of one part of yourself being a normal human being with wants and needs, including the need for approval and validation. I suspect it’s because it’s hard to claim this is only a small part of youu if you spend all your time doing things that can only be reasonably inteerpreted as seeking external validation.