Jason, that is a great piece. I’ve been interested in many things you say the last few years. I’ve read a few of your books and watched your YouTube appearances. I’ve also been watching Hillman with interest.

I don’t know if it’s of any interest to you, but there’s a good reason I relate to so much of what you both tell. I had visions since I was a little boy. Far back as I remember. I first became aware I can see what others can’t around six years old. Often terrifying, sometimes sublime. Mostly both. An ecstasy of terror for the most part. I was haunted by spectral entities.

I was a strange kid. Often in a trance state. My mum tells that she’d put me down as a toddler, and while the other children played, and climbed, I’d sit like Buddha, staring into space. Or, I used to spin and spin, sending myself into a deeper trance. Later, when I saw the Whirling Dervish, I knew exactly what they were doing.

My outlook was remarkably different to others. I was a philosophical child. Age five, I was obsessed with the idea of the infinite. I’d stare into the sun until the sky turned green or purple and the sun turned black.

I couldn’t do school. I was dyslexic and in those days, they didn’t know about it and I couldn’t keep up. But age nine, I stole a book from the library called Mind Power. Despite the fact I couldn’t read well, I struggled through. The exercises were simple instructions, a few sentences. Self hypnosis, meditation, manipulation of internal energy, visualisation, and telepathy. It was a solo mission. There was no mindfulness or new age for a working class boy in England, 1980, who vandalised bus stops and played football with his mates.

The only two-man job was telepathy, which I practiced with a friend age thirteen. The telepathy tests were successful every time. I practiced reading. I hadn’t read a book until I left school and it was slow going. But I came across Lao Tzu and Hassan I Sabah, who I greatly admired, as my thinking was along those lines anyway. I was diagnosed schizophrenic in my mid teens. By the age of twenty, I’d developed my own system of magic. Unfortunately, I was put in the madhouse and switched off with massive doses of antipsychotic.

But with my magic, I recovered and survived thirty years of crime, running rings round the law. I wasn’t a bad person. More a community service, but my practice of witch doctor was outlaw, as my remedies were contraband. This all came about through the need to self medicate. I survived many deaths. Like the Phoenix, I always rise from the flames. Born new from each death after travelling the Underworld.

The more I learnt of traditional magic, I realised the exercises magicians practiced were designed to make their minds and perception like how mine are naturally.

So, as you can imagine, after many rebirths, and the visions, etc. I had a peculiar perspective. I had brain scans which revealed I had unusual brain waves. I wasn’t surprised. I am (against all advice) able to take massive doses of hallucinogens of all kinds. Way more than anyone I know of. They say schizophrenics shouldn’t use them, but the Shaman of other cultures do, and from what I can tell, there ain’t much difference. In fact, I read a study on the difference between Shaman and schizophrenics, and the conclusion is, there is no difference other than the society they live in and how they are treated by it.

Sorry to go on. I’m so enthusiastic with your work. I’m never really a fan of anything, but your work resonates with my experiences, and I relate to much of what you describe. Keep up the good work.