This LessWrong post struck a chord: “On the spectrum of a calculated search for friends to an unconditional acceptance of people, we might all do better to lean the other way.”

I think there’s a middle ground. I think it’s good to be intentional about who you spend your life with. But to me that intentionality is best demonstrated in a marriage - thinking it through, and then taking the plunge and loving the other person wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I don’t want to get all optimizer-brained about my friends.