Slate Star Scratchpad — Cheat Sheet For Reading Popular Media Articles...

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Cheat Sheet For Reading Popular Media Articles About Psychiatry

Q: Why does psychiatry believe they’ve figured out exactly which mental illnesses there are, in ontologically perfect categories?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Why do psychiatrists believe they perfectly understand all the biology behind mental illness?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Why do psychiatrists believe that all depression is serotonin, nothing but serotonin, and nobody has ever been depressed in any way that was not 100% serotonin?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder once! Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder once! Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder once!
A: That is not a question.

Q: Why do psychiatrists think mental illness is only biological and nobody should ever think about people’s life circumstances or inner conflicts?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Why do psychiatrists believe that we never need to examine anything about society because all issues are purely biological and everything is a 100% scientific fact completely separate from value judgments and also there is no such thing as oppression?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Guys, I have this amazing thing that is going to blow your mind. Seriously, this is going to question everything you think you know about the world. Be ready to have your most sacred assumptions about everything overthrown…okay, are you ready now? Two words for you………….Rat. Park.
A: [facepalm]

Q: Why do psychiatrists believe addicts are completely responsible for their own condition and do not deserve any basic human compassion?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Then…why do psychiatrists believe addicts have no control whatsoever over their actions and are mere puppets with zero autonomy?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder once! Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder once! Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder once!
A: You mentioned that already.

Q: Why do psychiatrists believe that diet doesn’t matter?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: So you admit that we should stop giving people chemicals, all of which are serotonin, and just advise them to eat better?
A: I do not, in fact, admit that.

Q: Why do psychiatrists believe that therapy is useless and nobody should have it?
A: Nobody actually thinks that.

Q: While everyone else is futzing about with chemicals, all of which are serotonin, the only chemical, this bold renegade psychiatrist has discovered a new, all-natural way of treating mental illness!
A: That is not a question. Also, that person is a fraud.