You will never win a medal for Excellence in Suffering; you will never get a parade to celebrate how skillfully you endured other people hurting you. You only have one life and it is all too short and you deserve not to waste it tense and exhausted and always on edge awaiting the next tongue-lashing or the next disaster. You deserve pleasure and friendship and rest, and you can have these things and make the world better, and anyone who tells you otherwise is mistaken or lying.