Ever had the feeling “I should be better by now?”

I’ve spent all of my adult life in the business of meaning-making, and I guess I had some assumption that I’d be further along by now because of this

Teaching, leading retreats, counseling, supporting education and community building—helping others find purpose has been how I made a living. I’ve had the honor of officiating weddings and helping people die well.

And yet here I am—at times far more defensive, impatient, and grumpy than I'd like to be. I spend time that I can't get back being hard on myself for not being better.

How do you handle that voice? Enemy? Teacher? Friend?