“Outliers on what appears to be the norm” ~ absolutely this is Substack, and social media, and so many spheres when it comes to seeing people, especially moms of young children, “succeed”. I was thinking of this last night as I visited with a friend about the weirdo moms—my term, not hers—who did finish undergrad/grad school and worked part-time/wrote & edited/hustled hard in other ventures while having lots of babies (lots generally meaning at least four and usually more). Let’s just generally be honest and say the vast majority of women who embrace the gift of life of children and are given that gift in abundance are not also at the same time killing it in the literary/intellectual/economic sphere. They are usually driven by a deep desire to learn, to articulate, to create, and yes, often to pursue ambitions that may or may not fit well with family life (even if said ambitions deal directly with family life, like writing and thinking about it and monetizing it. Whaddaya know, messy and supremely busy real life and writing/conversing about it decently or well don’t always jibe, and are in fact really difficult to do simultaneously).

And especially with a lot of souls under one roof, that fit drifts back and forth across the family and life balance line with alarming unpredictability. It can be working great, or just okay, until it absolutely doesn’t. The key is that things don’t stay the same. Because outlets/part time efforts/paid work can work again, or differently, or with a different variation as kids grow, as circumstances shift. But the woman who has the desire or drive has to learn to acknowledge the seasons. That’s the Golden Rule, really.