When a dating coach tells you someone is avoidant and you should leave, they are collapsing that entire system into a single word. They are erasing the possibility that this person's withdrawal is a procedural memory from a specific developmental context, and that it could shift inside a relationship that offers what the early environment didn't.

I am not saying stay with someone who harms you.

Don’t stay with someone who harms you.

I am saying the framework you're being offered does not have the resolution to tell you the difference. A trained therapist's does.