sometimes i wonder how many versions of myself i’ve outgrown without even noticing. i look back at old photos and remember the thoughts i used to carry, the dreams i thought would save me. it’s strange how you can live inside yourself every day and still not realize you’re evolving. it’s only when you look back that you realize how far you’ve come, how many lives you’ve already lived in the same skin.
“i asked chatgpt—“
okay well i asked the moon and she said you’re a fucking loser for that
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Sometimes I fantasize about disappearing.
Not dying.
Just logging off.
Getting a job no one cares about.
Growing tomatoes.
Writing poems in the margins of a notebook no one reads.
Not as a failure.
But as a kind of freedom.
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Bari and Nellie,
I am a loyal listener and reader who recently became a grandpa (Papa) to my daughter's fraternal female twins, who turn 2 this August, and Baby Elliot, who was born on Shavuot last month.
I too was fairly set in my opinion about birth order, as we have 3 adult children, And I am the middle of 3 children. But the twin girls are so different.
One is a thinker, the other is a feeler.
One is more competitive, and the other passive.
So that blew out my birth order theory, but then again, in utero, the more completive one was a fighter, since she was first out and smaller. They had to closely monitor her to insure she was getting enough nutrition. So I guess the answer is, it depends.
Good luck, it will all be great!
