Most men who respond with “not all men”

make this statement and then go about their day.

It’s not just distance they put between themselves and the problem, but disregard.

This is privilege on top of privilege. Saying “this doesn’t include me”—a.k.a. “not all men”—directly makes the man saying or thinking it part of the problem.

Defense in any form, instead of witness, denies what women are experiencing.

And they can. Our social system is set up for men to do just this—and benefit while women continue to suffer.

Men’s blindness continues. Misogyny everywhere—like in a certain hockey locker room—continues. Women earning far less than men continues. Rape statistics continue. Major, world-affecting violence against women—like the Epstein files—continues.

All women in a man’s circle are affected.

Female coworkers, sisters, aunts. Neighbors. Friends—their partner. Nieces. Daughters.

It applies to every woman they know. Yet “not all men”. Not them.

But instead, a man can say, “I am listening.” He can understand that this does include him—bearing witness instead of leading with defense and anger.

Each time he does this, he is helping make the world a safer place for the women he loves and all women who have suffered so much at the hands of men.

Each time he does this, he is expanding himself and understanding the world a bit more and sharing her world too.