The dance in friendships changes when one person goes on to have kids, and the other doesn’t.

Often, there’s a disintegration and evaporation of these friendships, which can cause deep pain for all involved.

I’ve lost more friendships to parenthood than I expected. I could have done more to salvage them. So could they. That said, I don’t believe the arrival of kids was the root cause of the demise of these friendships, but I do believe they expedited it.

But of the friendships that have remained, oh boy, are they strong. I am deeply grateful for my friends who have kids, who don’t move to minimise or reduce my choice not to have kids. Who don’t engage me in a crass game of suffering olympics. Who don’t centre their kids in every conversation.

I’d love to hear your stories of the friendships that have survived and thrived this tectonic shift and perhaps share what you have each done to ensure its survival.