Your relationship is a mirror, if you don’t like what you see get curious about your role in it.

I used to think that every time I felt triggered in my relationship it meant he wasn’t my person.

I didn’t see how my unwillingness to look at what was *actually* underneath the trigger was the real thing that was negatively impacting our relationship and connection.

I would use these relationship triggers and fights over little (and big) things as evidence to keep him arms distance away and over time it would just stack against him until he was pretty much my enemy.

Six years ago we broke up because I had no idea that these triggers were just mirrors, trying to get me to look at unresolved trauma and patterns that no longer made sense… ESPECIALLY if what I wanted was a safe and healthy relationship.

I found shadow work + inner child healing and we got back together.

Over the last 6 years I’ve had the opportunity to practice what I’ve learned in real time and watch how fun and playful our relationship actually gets to be when I take responsibility for my part in our relationship dynamics (instead of just pointing the finger at him.)

I started writing my Substack Codependency Alchemy because I believe in this work whole-heartedly and want *everyone* to know about it. It changed my life, and I believe it can changed yours too 🫂