I’ve moved out of the period of my life I describe in Touched Out— but this year brought another kind of awakening. Next year, I’ll finalize my divorce and turn 40. Naturally, I have been thinking much more about midlife, and about older women as sages and guides.

I have been thinking, too, about the kinds of desires and pleasures and stories women are allowed to have— and what it takes to reclaim our lives from a culture that doesn’t want us to have autonomy, or our own narratives.

So before signing off for the holidays, I wrote a bit about this year of madness—and the years to come.