Despite being neither a novelist nor a writer of sex scenes I was all over this discussion about the steamy craft. Steamy 😅 A popular word in British media during the 70s/80s. Kinda stuck – in my mind anyway. Tina Turner had something to do with that. Wild lyrics: youtube.com/watch?v=e04…

Anyway… Kate Weinberg (There’s Nothing Wrong With Her), Monica Heisey (Really Good, Actually) and others question reader assumptions, trade scenes, talk desire and more. Two bits stood out.

The first was about why readers might think the author’s fiction is real life. Or in Weinberg’s words, they can’t invent the sex they haven’t had.

“We live in a time where people are hysterically obsessed by what is ‘true’ and what is ‘untrue’,” explains Heisey. “There is a frenzy for authenticity, even as it becomes less possible… And people want access. Not just to your work. They want access to your insides.”

The second is the male writer’s perspective, offered by David Nicholls (One Day). He would rather create a fumbled and awkward moment than try to arouse and risk coming off as chilly, slangy or worse … obnoxious. Tell us more.

“Straight male desire has a terrible history on the page,” he says. “It’s either predatory or feels male gaze-y. So how do you redress that while being authentic to what men think and say?

“I think women at the moment can get away with some really straight objectification. Male authors, at least straight ones, risk sounding crudely lusty or just ‘off’, somehow…”

Stick around for the book recommendations at the end. Yael van der Wouden’s The Safekeep is winging its way to my local library right now.