Vulnerable moment: When I got the Substack alert that a recording of my wonderful Substack Live with Laura B. McGrath about lit agents and her new book, MIDDLEMEN, had hit my drafts, I opened it eagerly—and had a brief, superficial crisis of confidence.

Why didn’t I do my makeup?

You can’t even see my eyebrows.

WTF was going on with my hair?

And then I reminded myself: No one tuned in for my mascara technique. I am allowed to discuss interesting things without fulfilling narrow beauty ideals. I do not have to look perfect to show up and take up space.

I remembered how, maybe 5 years ago, I encouraged fellow authors to join me on TikTok, which at the time was a good place to connect with readers. Many writers said they didn’t want to (which, fine), but across the board, women (only women!) kept sharing the same sentiment: “I can’t stand to look at myself on camera!”

That’s when I realized that editing all those TikToks of my yapping face had given me some peace, like—this is how I look, this is how my voice sounds. Neutral. Useful conduits for whatever I’m trying to say.

Y’all, patriarchal beauty standards are designed to keep us quiet, controlled, and kept. You do not have to be hot to share your thoughts on the internet, if that’s what you want to do! My looks are not relevant to what I’m trying to do with Get It Write. F that noise.