In other news, experts now believe hitting other fingers than your thumb, using a hammer, also hurts.

Sources reveal that an initiative is underway to regulate the manufacture, distribution, and use of hammers.

Government spokesbeings confirm that the Ministry of Hammers is expected to be moved into their new $1,234,567,890 building by the spring of 2030. Facilities to house the newly formed 25,000 member hammer police force should be available by 2032.

Brilliant! Have they considered the added safety of mandating the hammer-part and claw-part be manufactured separately, kept stored separately in locked compartments and registered with the local PD?

Can't have people having access to assault hammers!

What about military grade hammers.... or so called "ghost" hammers. People are now 3D printing hammers!!! We should ban 3D printers as well.

I just hope one day, it will be illegal to "buy, sell, import or transfer" any type of hand hammer.

I know people use hammers for construction, especially in rural areas, but we should still require people to have hammer licenses. Safe storage as you mentioned, of hammers is also an absolute must.

Absolutely.

DNA-registered hammer licenses at that. A limit on the numbers of hammers a citizen may own during their life.

And what about wrenches? "Monkey wrench"? We need to get a DEI/ESG-task force set up on that one.

Who really needs more than one hammer?