In my first job as an L&D nurse, I worked on a unit where the obstetricians were extremely hostile to birth plans.

I remember that one day, a doctor responded to his patient’s birth plan by grabbing a set of forceps, slamming them down on the counter in her room and saying “We’re going to do things my way because it’s not about you anymore, it’s about the baby.” She was in the early stages of an induction, long before anyone could know if a forceps delivery would be necessary.

I have always carried a sense of guilt that I didn’t intervene on her behalf. I was young, new to being a nurse, the hierarchy was crushing me. But I knew it was wrong and I wish I’d said or done something to support her in that moment.