thank you so much for reading, and i’m so glad you’re enjoying the books. :’)

unfortunately there isn’t going to be a book for murph because it would be pretty boring—it would involve a lot of individual therapy and marriage counseling with his wife! tbh, i don’t see him being incredibly interested in pursuing a relationship outside of his marriage if it wasn’t ryan. to be quite honest, even in that confession scene, he wasn’t even really interested IN a relationship with ryan and blowing up his life…it was just that he had a lot of emotions that he needed to share. it was eating him up and he had to say something, even if he legitimately wasn’t expecting or wanting anything to come with it. that’s the kind of secret that really festers. he needed to know if ryan had ever felt the same way, and then he could sort of be at peace with it, in the long run.

i’ve seen a lot of reviews that didn’t like this plot point or wondered why it was in there or where it came from and it was because ryan’s life is sort of split up by three of the most serious relationships he’s ever had, two of which he screwed up for reasons related to shitty hockey culture, and one of which he did not screw up because he’s learning to navigate and make shitty hockey culture better. he missed out on a childhood soulmates thing with murph because of “no homo” hockey guys and compulsory heterosexuality—like it was always there, but they had no way of seeing it for what it was. he married his wife too young and for the wrong reasons, because that’s what you do as a hockey player, even though she was SO not the right person for him. and even though they loved each other, that wasn’t enough to build a foundation for a happy life together when they were such fundamentally different people. and then finally he has eric, and he goes into that relationship with clearer eyes, making the adult choice instead of missing it or fumbling into it, and he’s happy.

murph’s ending maybe isn’t the romantic HEA that you would get in a book, but i like to think that it’s realistic. sometimes your marriage isn’t the kind of romance novel emotions that sweep you up irresistibly. sometimes it’s making the choice to stay with someone you’ve built a life with, and who you love in your own way, and really working at making it something you both can be happy with. i don’t know, i feel sad for him and ryan for what they missed out on, but i don’t think that him staying in a marriage with his wife who he loves very much (if in a different way than ryan) and kids who he loves very much and unconditionally is horrifically sad, either, haha.