Filed under “How Things Would Go If I Were In Charge”:

I spent most of today working on an application for a two-week artist residency this summer. I took it very seriously, as you do, carefully crafting my artist statement, preparing my writing sample, and creating a resume.

HOWEVER, if I were in charge, then it would be perfectly reasonable to present an artist statement that said simply, “I write good stuff and it’s been way too long since summer camp. So, I would like to come write good stuff at your fancy summer camp.”

I’d put please and thank you at the end. I’m not totally uncivilized.