Patient claims to be “literally Nietzschian” but has never read Nietzsche. When pressed, patient revealed their entire philosophical education consists of watching a 47-second TikTok of someone explaining a YouTube video about a podcast discussing a book summary of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. The TikTok was filmed over Subway Surfers gameplay to maintain retention. Patient now believes core Nietzschian philosophy is “God is dead and I’m different.”