The author gives a deep and resonant description of emotional abuse. It is doubtful, though, that being without bruises was what left her in the shame box - that is sadly the lot of all abuse survivors. Would she have called the police or pressed charges at that time against the father of her children and the breadwinner? Would leaving have been somehow easier or less frightening if she knew he was capable of physical violence against her? Would she have thought about the fact that most women are killed while leaving an assaultive partner or in the year after? Would she have wanted to openly assume the identity of "battered woman" who "let him do that to her"? There's no rescue brigade that comes with being physically harmed - even if you do press charges he's taken into custody and then released. Maybe they give you a piece of paper to wave in his face when he gets out - mad. We all want proof and validation - but not at the price that comes with being assaulted.