In the winter of 2024, The Boyfriend found himself exactly where many unhappy people find themselves when they’re approaching 50: on a quest to “find himself.” It should come as no great surprise that he went looking the first place all men of limited imagination look when they’re on a journey of self-discovery: some random chick’s pussy. “Hello???? Am I in here?” they shout into it. But there is never an answer. Only the void queefing back at them.