We all go through seasons where we don't feel like we belong. I had two of these growing up — times I felt too different, too shy, too serious, too quiet. But looking back, both showed me the same thing in different ways: being genuine comes first, and belonging is not the same as fitting in (thank you, Brené Brown).

In the first, I showed up as myself, and the environment couldn't meet me. In fact it let me know how different I was, so I met myself instead and became my company. That solitude actually became a gift. I started writing poetry, reading extensively, making art (good enough to enter competition). I got comfortable with my own company and found talents I wouldn't have discovered otherwise.

In the second, I tried to fit in and it didn't work. I tried molding myself into what I thought the environment wanted and instead, that made me guarded and not really present. But the moment I stopped trying to fit in and showed up as myself instead, the doors of connection opened. And surprisingly, my openness gave everyone else permission to show up as themselves too. It wasn't a mismatch after all — I just needed to show up as who I actually was.

The greater lesson, is that we always belong to ourselves first. When we try to fit in, as we're so often pressured to, we lose connection to who we are and what we offer. But our story is not about fitting in, it’s about showing up as we are as best we can. And when you do that, the environment changes to meet you, not the other way around. When it can’t, you still survive, because either way, you always meet yourself first — with something to learn along the way. 🤍