I appreciated even the most low-effort attempt at a date, including a guy who “took me out for sushi” and then made me pay by hiding in the bathroom for fifteen minutes when the check came (I thanked him too! For what? Who knows!) I would change my opinions, my aesthetic, and basically everything, in order to be what I thought a boy’s ideal girlfriend would be. I even became a Marxist-Leninist for a few weeks one time. I became a fan of Michael Moore for another boyfriend, which was arguably more embarrassing.