You have simply described yourself and are too inept to realize that. Restauration is one of the only industries where it is customary to be rude and petty to waiters and bartenders. No one humiliates a plumber for minor issues. Although I was not there and its entirely possible she unjustly ignored you, the fact that you wrote an entire screed about lacking validation from a bartender suggests that you are a neurotic loser who tries to confirm his bias through normal encounters.