“Most people…see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.”

Perhaps people learn the wrong lessons from dating…and from the ghastly modern trend of young people sharing their "expertise" about dating on Instagram and Tiktok.

Men are told that insouciance is attractive. Women are told to play hard to get, or to withhold some portion of their love and affection. Better to be thje one who love at 50% than the one who loves at 100.

Do they perhaps carry these "lessons" with them into marriage?

Just speculating. All I know is that my wife and I keep looking for new ways to express, show, and feel ever-greater love for each other, and it's really nice.

Terrific post!