In my recollection the Q as noun has always been a slur; in Commonwealth English it was often no more than (as an adjective) meaning something like "odd." Growing up, "queer" was easily one of the two or three most vile slurs there was.

Then at some point it became a badge of identification, about the time when being gay ceased to be remarkable or noteworthy, and those radical gays who saw their specialness slipping away were obviously seeking a way to go back to being offensive.

There has always been a strong imperative to tell heterosexuals how much we hated them (except I didn't) and to offend them as much as possible, which is what pride parades were always about.

Some people tell me that for not accepting "queer" I am demonstrating "internalized homophobia," but then that's the same thing they told me for not accepting pantomimed sex on pride parade floats.