Last year, I wrote on Substack about my trade deficit with the grocery store. Shockingly, the tariffs I imposed on myself have not remedied the problem. So, taking my advocacy to the next level, I recently testified before the U.S. Trade Representative's Section 301 investigation panel about a national security threat hiding in plain sight: massive overproduction of kumquats in Pasco County, Florida. They grow FAR more kumquats than they consume, so I'm pretty sure I have a slam-dunk case of state-sponsored excess capacity. My written testimony is on my free Substack, because yes, even trade policy can benefit from satire.