How to handle misogynist, hateful comments on your posts.

I hate that I need to share this post, but a friend reached out for advice for post of hers that is going viral and attracting a lot of hate. I had to come up with a strategy early when my Fair Play post and Sex Is Not Your Duty went viral and certain men did not like them. I’m afraid given who recently joined this platform, this problem isn’t going away and it is a good idea to protect yourself when they come for you.

Step 1: Change the settings on the post so only paying subscribers can comment.

Step 2: Remove the comments that are blatantly misogynist. You don't need to read them or give them a platform. Engaging only gives them more fuel. Treat them as you would a narcissist. Grey rock. You can also block them. While this could be construed as deleting comments that disagree with you, you do not need to provide a platform for hateful speech. Your Substack is your space.

Step 3: Consider whether you want to engage with those that are disagreeing but only if their comments are respectful and clearly wanting to engage with the topic and problem solve. Not attacking you and your perspective. But again, this is a choice. Not a responsibility.

Very few haters will pay money to post hate. What they often do in response to paywalling comments is share their comment as a Note and restack your post, but that just provides more eyeballs for your work, which is a win for you.

And I’m not saying this is how you handle everyone who disagrees with you but I think we all know the difference between the tenor of fruitful discourse and the tenor of hate or misogyny.