I just eavesdropped on a conversation between an older man and woman looking at books in a secondhand store. They didn’t know each other (I asked the woman afterwards), but boy did their interaction highlight how a lot of men see women as constant, enthusiastic sounding boards for their pedestrian thoughts.

Over the course of a few minutes, the bloke offered his views on the following:

* How no one reads anymore;

* How the internet has destroyed people’s brains;

* How even Jacinda Ardern has pulled out of AWW, which means it’s definitely over; and

* How Aotearoa’s fugitive, Tom Phillips, must have had a network of people helping him and did she know he had been on the run for 18 months?

All perfectly reasonable topics for discussion, of course! But as he talked, these responses offered by the woman were either glossed over or ignored entirely:

* That she loves to read;

* That in fact she reads every night before bed;

* That the fallout of AWW is a disaster, and she doesn’t know what they’re going to do;

* That Tom Phillips had actually evaded capture for closer to four years; and

* She was familiar with his case because she’s from New Zealand (Aotearoa)

To all of these - but ESPECIALLY to her gentle correction on the Phillips story - Old Mate either said nothing or made only the tiniest of audible acknowledgements before bulldozing ahead with his stream of consciousness.

There was absolutely no curiosity or even polite exchange, no questions asking what she likes to read, what else she knows about the Phillips case, her thoughts as a local. Nothing! Just a man, intoning at a woman, boring her to tears and yet no doubt thinking he was in the middle of a great conversation. At one point while flicking through the racks, she off handedly said, “oh this is a great book,” and he STILL asked her nothing!

Anyway, women will relate very deeply to this. Women, share your favourite moments of being seen as the breathless recipient of a man’s thoughts! Men, please don’t comment at all, just read them.

Mine in the comments.